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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24338770">switching positions can grant one new perspectives</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/zappactionsdower/pseuds/zappactionsdower'>zappactionsdower</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bodyswap, M/M, dimitri's a not-so-secret foodie, felix has a Complex it must be a day that ends in 'y'</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 07:09:11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,590</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24338770</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/zappactionsdower/pseuds/zappactionsdower</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>FE3H Kink Meme fill.</p><p>Felix and Dimitri magically swap bodies!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Felix Hugo Fraldarius</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>161</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>FE3H Kink Meme</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>switching positions can grant one new perspectives</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was the maid's fault.</p><p>Well, in retrospect, there was no way in the Eternal Flames she was a maid.</p><p>Felix had realized it the second she curtsied, because no maid would have <em>that </em>look in her eyes. He'd jumped out of his chair, putting himself bodily between the stranger and the King of United Fodlan just as she'd rose up again, a circle of magic forming around her hand.</p><p>And then his entire body felt like it was being torn open, even as he knew he collided with the attacker, weapon drawn...</p><p>The world went dark and painful, and his last thought was that he hoped Dimitri wouldn't be <em>too</em> upset with him...<br/>
<br/>
Someone was shaking him.</p><p>Felix jerked upright, cursing. There... someone was...</p><p>"Majesty!"</p><p>He swiveled his head to the left, where his king had been...</p><p>Wait.</p><p>He was staring at a wall.</p><p>And then he looked to the right and saw...</p><p>Himself?</p><p>It was indeed his.. shape, dressed in his usual cool blues and furs, and still unconscious over a maid that had a knife - <em>his </em>knife - gutted in her chest.</p><p>"Your Majesty?" someone - Gilbert, damn him - asked, wary. "Are you unharmed? Thank goodness Duke Fraldrius was here..."</p><p>What.</p><p>Felix opened his mouth to demand an explanation when the Not-Him stirred, moving to sit up.</p><p>"Felix?" the duplicate said, slowly. "What is..?"</p><p>'What the <em>fuck</em>," Felix said, the baritone coming from his... throat suddenly all-too familiar.</p><p><br/>
It was wrong.</p><p>It was impossible.</p><p>Felix stood at the mirror, unmoving. Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd stared back, dressed down in his usual daily garb, small black circlet settled on his temple. Eyepatch where it usually was, and come to think of it, no wonder Dimitri squinted every once in a while. Everything looked.. flatter.</p><p>"I.. assume we switched bodies?" his body - <em>Dimitri</em> said awkwardly behind him in the most unhelpful way imaginable. "That assassin must have wanted to take my place, although I don't recall reading about any magic like that before..."</p><p>Goddess. Why was he so flippant about it?</p><p>"I'll need to see if we can request Annette's presence. And perhaps track down the source of..."</p><p>"You're taking this too well, <em>Your Majesty</em>," Felix sniped, turning around with as much viciousness as he could. "We just had a damn assassin in the room!"</p><p>"I know." And ugh, did he... did he frown like that? Did he really have such pronounced wrinkles below his eyes? "But I would rather be... you, than you be dead, Felix."</p><p>...</p><p>...</p><p>"Mitya.." and that was.. that was it, wasn't it?</p><p>"We will have to at least make an effort to pretend to be," Dimitri's nose wrinkled up, another thing that Felix had never realized how irritating it looked on his own face, "ourselves, at least for the time being. I do not believe it would be wise to let others know something is amiss, especially as we might not be done with these assassination attempts. So - for now, everything is normal?"</p><p>Normal.</p><p>Hah.</p><p>Felix sneered, but he could.. he could do this. Probably.</p><p>Dimitri came close, and gently put his hand against Felix's shoulder. Huh. He really was... no, it wasn't that Felix was short; Dimitri was just a tall beast that...</p><p>Wait.</p><p>Oh fuck no.</p><p>"Felix, is it warmer in here?"</p><p>No. No no no no no.</p><p>He stepped back, putting some space between himself and... his body.</p><p>That Dimitri was currently inhabiting and using to look like a confused hound.</p><p>No no no. Absolutely not.</p><p>"Fine." Felix choked out, because... because they did <em>not</em> need o have that conversation, "Nothing out of the ordinary. Got it. But let's get this fixed -soon."</p><p>Before Dimitri caught on.</p><p> </p><p>It was a disaster in the making.</p><p>Perhaps a minor geographical disaster, probably not world-ending, but still... a disaster. A totally avoidable one at that, if not for pretend maids and Dimitri's high tolerance for old noble bullshit.</p><p>"Your plan is ridiculous, and I don't have the time or the patience to hear you complain about how hard it is for you to pay some extra taxes." Felix seethed, crossing his arms for the twelfth time that morning. Goddess - why was there so much of Dimitri and why did he choose to sit in this chair most of the time? Why couldn't he get comfortable things?</p><p>There was a rumble from the other lords present, all of which began looking at one another as though considering their next options. Good.</p><p>To his right, Dimitri-as-him let out a gentle cough. One hand reached out, gently resting against Felix's knee under the table. "Forgive him for his lack of manners. He did not sleep well last night."</p><p>Manners. As though a sniveling lord that did nothing but hide in his private estate during the entire war deserved manners. As though the others that came with him had any interest in anything other than their own coffers and to do as they had always done.</p><p>Count Uter coughed, politely bowing his head. "Ah, yes, understandable, Your Majesty. Perhaps I can recomm..."</p><p>"Thank you, but no. I believe the law stands, and there's no need to change it." Dimitri stood up, and tried - very badly - to cross his arms in Felix's usual way. "Perhaps all of us are better served getting some fresh air instead of treading old ground?"</p><p>The wispy Count looked to him, and Felix sniffed indignantly.</p><p>"We will take our leave then. But, do consider our proposal for leniency? For the chickens?" The other men at the table stood up. "Good day, Your Majesty."</p><p>He even walked away with a pathetic slump. Goddess, Felix didn't know why Dimitri bothered.</p><p>"Remember. A King cannot show disdain for his subjects." Dimitri said mildly.</p><p>"I'll just ban them all then." His - Dimitri's - back was stiff, and the spot where the real Dimitri had put his hand still pulsed with the echo of warmth. Felix stood up, wincing as he felt the pull of old scars in unfamiliar places. "I have to piss."</p><p>That couldn't be that hard... right?</p><p><br/>
<br/>
Felix Hugo Fraldarius was a fearless man. He had faced down a Death Knight without flinching. He'd cut through entire battalions of the former Adrestian Empire and had taken out their demonic beasts without hesitation. He had taken on the Emperor herself, and emerged victorious.</p><p>He was not having a crisis about touching Dimitri's – his – dick.</p><p>Absolutely not.</p><p>It was just a fucking cock for the love of Sothis. One that he needed to use to relieve himself so... so all he had to do was...</p><p>
  <em>Sothis's Goddess-damned Tits.</em>
</p><p>He looked down, blinking dazedly.</p><p>Okay. So... so maybe he'd thought about it before. A little. What it looked like, underneath. Maybe, in a few mornings when they'd had nowhere to go to cool down other than a river, he'd gotten a brief look of fine hair traveling from Dimitri's lower belly and beneath the water and wondered..</p><p>It was...</p><p>Not small.</p><p>At all.</p><p>Neither were the two things behind it.</p><p>Felix fumbled, hesitatingly holding on to... it. Trying very hard to focus on natural things, and normal bodily functions and not what it would feel like to have that in his mouth, or even better, splitting him open, remaking him...</p><p>Felix could take it. A challenge, surely, but to have that inside him, warm and hard and...</p><p>Dammit.</p><p>He looked down again, aware that his thumb had been rubbing, idly, and...</p><p>Great. Great. Dimitri was touch-starved and sensitive. And... responsive, at that. Because of course it was, and of course he'd not had any kind of partner to... relieve himself with.</p><p>And now here he was, alone, and half-hard, holding onto the thing that he might have fantasized about, just a little.</p><p>He was so, so fucked.</p><p> </p><p>He found the other in the small dining area tucked away from prying eyes. It wasn't a lot of food spread out, really, as Dimitri preferred not to waste resources that could instead be given to his citizens and Felix wasn't fond of treats.</p><p>“Are you crying?”</p><p>“Oh – hello - no?” Dimitri said, but Felix could see a sheen of tears prickling on his eyes. (And Goddess, did Dimitri have any common sense?)</p><p>The King of United Fodlan was in <em>his </em>body, holding on to two cinnamon buns that he was very ungracefully and passionately devouring. Felix remembered how he'd eaten after... after he'd come back to them, like each meal would be his last, but this...</p><p>“Why are you making me eat cinnamon buns?”</p><p>“They're so <em>delicious</em>!” Dimitri smiled, genuinely, and that twisting ache in Felix's belly was back with a vengeance. “Is this butter? And, Goddess, what is on top? Vanilla, do you think?”</p><p>Ugh.</p><p>Felix flopped into a chair across from him and grabbed an apple. Of all the horrible things Dimitri could do with <em>his </em>body, he was stuffing it with <em>sweets</em>, and...</p><p>Felix paused as he took a bite.</p><p>Oh. Right.</p><p>It was... it wasn't like it was <em>wrong</em>, exactly. He recognized the crunch, and the grainy texture, but...</p><p>No wonder Dimitri was so mechanical about it. How could you enjoy eating when everything tasted like stale bread?</p><p>“I apologize.” Dimitri sat up a little straighter, and tried to look solemn. “It's improper for me to... use your body in a way for my indulgences.”</p><p>“Don't worry about it.” Felix sighed. “Just don't overdo it. You'll give yourself a stomachache.”</p><p>“I've already spoken to Gilbert and Annette will be arriving tomorrow, along with some trusted scholars. I'd assign additional guards to our quarters, but I believe that would cause more concern and allow for more opportunities for unwanted guests. Instead, I was going to request we send the servants to attend elsewhere in the castle instead.” Dimitri picked up a cherry tart and slowly, carefully, nibbled on the edge</p><p>The moan he let out was positively orgasmic.</p><p>Felix's – <em>Dimitri's – </em>beastly cock stirred between his legs.</p><p>Dammit all. He gripped the edge o the chair, cursing his existence, and assassin-maids, and <em>pastries and...</em></p><p><strong> <em>CRACK</em> </strong> <em>.</em></p><p>Dimitri stopped, blinking as Felix's chair came to pieces.</p><p>“Felix?”</p><p>“Don't you dare,” the Duke snarled, still holding stubbornly to the crumbled pieces of wood.</p><p> </p><p>The rest of the day was a farce and one that Felix was absolutely certain would do the Kingdom no favors. The maids were already tittering about the more <em>charming </em>side of the Duke, and the nobles that tended to scrounge for attention and relevance were already eve more cowed with the King's new “ferocity” aimed their way. (As though <em>that </em>was a tragedy! Hah!)</p><p>Felix had broken three doorknobs, left a large dent in the stone wall of the training grounds, and bent two of his favorite swords before snapping a lance clean in half.</p><p>And that damned <em>dick</em>. It was constantly <em>there</em>, warm and ready to stand to attention whenever the fool inhabiting <em>his </em>body did something particularly... interesting.</p><p>Like dinner.</p><p>He'd never thought someone eating meat with gravy would be at all enticing. It was <em>food</em>, for Sothis's sake. But for Dimitri, it was a mess of moans and eager licks and <em>happiness</em></p><p>He was going to be <strong>fat </strong>when he finally got his body back.</p><p>Which was going to happen. No way in the Eternal Flames would he be trapped in this... <em>beast</em> for the rest of his life. He <em>liked </em>his body, and his non-monster dick, and not breaking everything as though it was china.</p><p>Maybe Dimitri could keep his sense of taste, though.</p><p>Maybe.</p><p> </p><p>Finally, he was dressed down and in his room. Well, the King's bedroom, which was larger and more... colorful, than his. Both he and Dimitri preferred clean, uncluttered spaces, but there were little things all over Dimitri's bedroom that spoke of friends and age. He recognized the sword Felix had gifted him last year, and a few half-finished embroidery projects that Dimitri and Mercedes had been fussing over the last time she visited. There were stacks of letters too, and next to that several fresh flowers growing in a Duscur pot.</p><p>It was his nerves, or perhaps that he was tired. Most likely tiredness. But his hand drifted between his legs, curiously playing with that stupidly <em>big </em>thing. He wondered if Dimitri had ever played with himself, locked away here. Wondered if maybe he thought about soft breasts (that didn't seem to do anything) or solid muscle and broad chests (well, Dimitri's dick seemed to like <em>that</em>...), and what...</p><p>Someone knocked at his door.</p><p>Of course.</p><p>He sat up, discreetly covering himself with his blankets. Felix reached underneath his pillow for a small silver dagger, just in case. “Yes?”</p><p>“Fe – I mean, Dimitri?”</p><p>They were terrible at this. “Come in, <em>Duke Fraldarius</em>.”</p><p>The door opened and Dimitri slipped inside. He was wearing loose clothing – more than Felix usually did at least, and his hair was still tied back.</p><p>Not only was he going to be stuffed full of sweets when he returned his body, but he was going to have an eternal case of bedhead.</p><p>“Come here.” Felix grumbled, and Dimitri obliged, coming over to sit on the edge of the bed.</p><p>“Apologies. I could not sleep. I was concerned... about you being alone in here,” Dimitri started, and Felix scoffed.</p><p>“I can handle myself with an assassin.” Dimitri had a small, fine hairbrush on his end table that he did not take care of. “You're going to leave me a mess.”</p><p>“A...”</p><p>“Don't,” He could do this. It was just brushing his <em>own </em>hair, after all. “You need to have your hair trimmed too. And there's no reason you can't put it back more often.”</p><p>“I will tell the Ruling Council that we must put our tax planning on hold for me to have a grooming day.”</p><p>Felix lightly tapped the back of Dimitri's head with his fingers. His King snorted.</p><p>There was a pleasant quiet as Felix ran the hairbrush through several times, inspecting the black locks in a way that was difficult when you couldn't normally see your own head. Everything looked even and smooth, and the length he usually liked.</p><p>“Felix?”</p><p>“What?” He set the brush down and switched to braiding the long strands, because it was easier to sleep with than most styles.</p><p>“Forgive me. But I cannot help but notice I... I mean you... ah, your body...”</p><p>“Get on with it. We're not children, Dimitri.”</p><p>“Your body gets very warm when I am around you. ”</p><p><em>Fuck</em>.</p><p>“You're embarrassing.”</p><p>Dimitri turned his head, and he had <em>that </em>expression. The one that meant he was considering Felix too closely, trying to analyze every little thing because Dimitri <em>thought </em>too much. About everything. About dead people, and living people, and <em>obligations</em>.</p><p>“Felix.. if it s not too presumptuous...”</p><p>“The only reason I am not currently gutting you is that you are in <em>my </em>body...” Felix warned.</p><p>Dimitri smiled, and that hideously monster <em>thing </em>between his legs absolutely jumped to attention. “Yes, you are right. If it is all right then, may I sleep here?”</p><p>Why did he always have to be so awkwardly <em>selfless</em>? “I'm fine, Dima.”</p><p>But... he probably wouldn't sleep in an unfamiliar surrounding anyway.</p><p>“I'll take first watch. Don't you dare allow me to oversleep.”</p><p> </p><p>Felix woke up to a pink-grey sky and wrapped pleasantly around a warm body.</p><p>Dimitri's chest rose and fell, and his hair was still mostly in good shape (mostly), and he was blaming the quiet snoring all on <em>Dimitri </em>because he definitely did not do that normally.</p><p>He moved his legs, intended to stretch, and...</p><p>Felix looked down at the too-large bulge poking upwards from the blankets.</p><p>“Felix?”</p><p>“What is <em>wrong </em>with your body?” he grumbled, still too sleep-addled to really consider what he'd asked.</p><p>Shit.</p><p>Shit shit shit shit shit.</p><p>Dimitri rolled over, looking at him with sleepy curiosity. He glanced down, and Felix could see the moment realization clicked into place.</p><p>“Ah.”</p><p>“Can't you..” Felix squirmed,, “Don't you ever...?”</p><p>“Felix, you are quite hard yourself now.” Dimitri chided, and somehow, that made it <em>worse</em>.</p><p>“That's <em>your </em>doing.” <em>Shit</em>. “I didn't mean that like...”</p><p>“Felix, may I taste you?”</p><p>He was officially in the Eternal Flames, and his torturer was laughing somewhere. Perhaps under the bed. Or behind the huge wardrobe in the corner.</p><p>Still. Whatever was going on in Dimitri's <em>stupid </em>body wasn't going away. And Felix couldn't seem to escape the warmth that spread throughout his blood as Dimitri-in-his-body moved his hand to withdraw the blankets, revealing more of that stupidly-proportioned... <em>thing</em>.</p><p>“Don't you think it's a little ridiculous, wanting to give <em>yourself </em>pleasure?” Felix breathed, but his hand went to those dark locks, fingers winding around Dimitri as the King began to carefully pull down his trousers and smallclothes.</p><p>“I do not think about it too deeply,” Dimitri admitted, looking at Felix's – Dimitri's – Goddess <em>damn it all –</em> morning wood. “Is it uncomfortable?”</p><p>“What do <em>you </em>think? You live with it!”</p><p>“I am sorry.” Dimitri tilted his head, darting his tongue out to lick at the tip.</p><p>Felix shivered.</p><p>“Salty, I think. And.. that is the soap Dedue brought me?” Dimitri licked again, and puffed warm air experimentally over the damned thing. “Are you ready?”</p><p>“Wha..” Felix bit back a moan as Dimitri's whole <em>mouth </em>engulfed him, sucking with earnest.</p><p>Ah. This was where he entered the next circle of Eternal Flames then. Felix let go to dig his fingers into the sheets, trying to muster all the self-control he could because he did not wish to explain to the Royal Housekeeper that the king needed a new <em>bed </em>on top of all the other repairs they would have to do.</p><p>“Fuck,” Felix breathed, dizzy, “How are you...?”</p><p>Dimitri was <em>slurping</em>, eagerly sucking him deeper and yes damn, he was hitting the edge of Dimitri's throat right there. The King gripped the base curiously, and Felix watched as his other hand drifted downwards, undoing his own trousers to do something unseen with his fingers.</p><p>He groaned, because the world was really not making sense anymore. Maybe he really had died. But this definitely felt <em>too good </em>to be somewhere terrible, especially as Dimitri looked up at him with such open affection, with how <em>warm </em>his mouth was...</p><p>He was close, beautifully, painfully so, when Dimitri released him with a wet pop. His lips were flush, and Felix nearly came from the sight of it.</p><p>“You... are a monster,” he panted, and bit back another moan as Dimitri <em>crawled </em>onto his lap, lining their hips up. “You're ridiculous.”</p><p>Dimitri hummed, and wait... no way, he was gripping Felix's sloppy-wet dick to... to...</p><p>“Are you mad<em>?!” </em>Felix snapped as he felt Dimitri's rim , “It won't fit!”</p><p>“Not initially.” Dimitri responded, demure. “But... oh.” His eyelids fluttered “it feels nice to try.”</p><p>Felix's head fell back, all thoughts apparently heading downwards to where his stupid King was stupidly trying to impale himself. Fine. Let him be stupid.</p><p>Dimitri didn't resist as Felix flipped them over, pushing him against the pillows as he thrust eagerly between their bodies. In his fantasies, this was a lot less, well, <em>messy</em>, and he was maybe on the receiving end but... but...</p><p>He shuddered, stars exploding as he came all over them both. Beneath him, Dimitri let out a shuddering sob as he found his own release.</p><p>They both collapsed, Dimitri grunting as Felix's weight settled on top.</p><p>“Oh. That was nice.” Dimitri hummed, smiling.</p><p>“Nice.” Felix repeated, because really. <em>Really</em>.</p><p>“I think we should do it again.”</p><p>“Do you <em>want </em>to ruin me, Boar?”</p><p>“Felix, I believe your body liked it quite a lot.”</p><p><em>Ugh</em>.</p><p> </p><p>Annette, thank the Goddess, was an Immaculate One. A genius, and kind, and charming, and all the things that Felix would want... if he... wanted girls.</p><p>“It wasn't so bad! Just some tweaks here and there but it's a play on an old warp spell. So...” She took a deep breath. “Are you ready to get back to your selves?”</p><p>“I've had enough of being a Boar for one lifetime.” Felix glanced to Dimitri, who was as settled as ever. Although, of course he was, Felix had fucked him enough that he was still likely too high off his last orgasm to be concerned.</p><p>Or at least Felix was going to blame <em>that</em>. Definitely not the hideous spread of waffles and blueberries and bacon that Dimitri had devoured. Between food and Felix, <em>obviously </em>it was Felix that was responsible for Dimitri's good mood.</p><p>“Thank you for all your hard work, Annette. I do truly appreciate you coming here.” Dimitri hugged her, and the redhead blushed bright red. “But yes. It is difficult to act so... gruff, all the time.”</p><p>“Nobody can be cranky like Felix!” she winked at him before he could protest. “Okay, give me just one moment.”</p><p>Magic sparked around them, and just like before, Felix felt the alien sensation as though he was being tugged <em>sideways</em>.</p><p>His knees nearly buckled as Dimitri responded first, catching him as they both fell to the floor.</p><p>“Oh!” Annete yelped. “Are you...?!”</p><p>“We're fine.” Felix said, blinking. The room spun once more, but it had more definition with both eyes open. His limbs felt right, and he felt...</p><p>Normal.</p><p>Except ow.</p><p><em>Ow</em>.</p><p>“Felix?” Dimitri asked, curling his too-long fingers against Felix's shoulder.</p><p>Dimitri hadn't warned him about <em>that</em>.</p><p>“I'm <em>fine</em>...” Felix grimaced, wishing desperately that Annette was not present so he could complain about the painful <em>ache </em>between his legs. “And never eating sugar again.”</p><p>Dimitri didn't even have the decency to look embarrassed.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>BONUS SCENE:THAT I COULD NOT WORK IN<br/>-----<br/>"Anyway, it was a terrible idea."  Felix argued, "We should..."<br/>The door slammed open.<br/>"Dimitri?!"  Dedue rumbled, looking horrified.  He glanced at the two of them, and then walked straight to the Prince before either could speak.<br/>Dimitri made an inelegant noise as the tall Duscur man embraced him, clutching protectively at his much smaller frame.<br/>"I'm quite all right, Dedue," Dimitri soothed.  "We are both fine."<br/>"I was not here to protect you."  Dedue mourned, patting at his shoulder.  "Forgive me."<br/>Wait.<br/>"How did you know it was him?  That.." Felix stuttered, because Goddess, were they that terrible at acting?<br/>Dedue stared back at him, still clutching Dimitri close.  "Duke Fraldarius, I would know His Majesty if he was a stone on the side of the road."<br/>Well.<br/>That was...<br/>"Let's not give any other assassins any other ideas."</p></blockquote></div></div>
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